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Misc. Quotes


updated  04.02.07

"Pain makes us make bad decisions. Fear of pain...is almost as big a motivator."

~ Dr. Gregory House (Hugh Laurie, House)


"The brave are always the first to die."

~ Magneto (X-Men: The Final Decision [1990s season one finale])


"Remember: when people tell you something's wrong or doesn't work, they are almost always right. When they tell you exactly what's wrong and how to fix it, they are almost always wrong."

~ Neil Gaiman (blog, http://www.neilgaiman.com/journal/2004/09/prague-below.asp)


"But if we all lived our lives based on 'what if' instead of 'what is', we'd be living in a continuous state of fear."

~ Reverend Camden (Stephen Collins, "7th Heaven" [T.V.])


"The only rules that really matter are these: What a man can do, and what a man can't do."

~ Capt. Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp, Pirates of the Caribbean) [movie]


"Not all treasure is silver and gold, Mate."

~ Capt. Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp, Pirates of the Caribbean) [movie]


"That's what a ship is, you know. It's not just a keel and a hull and deck and sails. That's what a ship needs. But what a ship IS [...] is freedom."

~ Capt. Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp, Pirates of the Caribbean) [movie]


"Even a good decision made for the wrong reasons can be a wrong decision."

~ Gov. Weatherby Swann (Jonathan Pryce, Pirates of the Caribbean) [movie]


"You're off the edge of the map, Mate. Here there be monsters!"

~ Capt. Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush, Pirates of the Caribbean) [movie]


"Perhaps on the rare occasion pursuing the right course demands an act of pircacy, piracy itself can be the right course?

~ Gov. Weatherby Swann (Jonathan Pryce, Pirates of the Caribbean) [movie]


"Now, bring me that horizon!"

~ Capt. Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp, Pirates of the Caribbean) [movie]


“Things can mean more than they literally mean. And that’s the dividing line between art and everything that isn’t art. Or one of the lines, anyway.”

~ Neil Gaiman (Kur Busiek's Astro City: Confessions [Introduction])


“There’s never been a true war that wasn’t fought between two sets of people who were certain they were in the right.”

~ Mr. Wednesday (Neil Gaiman, American Gods)


“No man, proclaimed Donne, is an Island, and he was wrong. If we were not islands, we would be lost, drowned in each others’ tragedies.”

~ Neil Gaiman (American Gods)


“Without individuals we see only numbers: a thousand dead, a hundred thousand dead, ‘casualties may rise to a million.’ With individual stories, the statistics become people—but even that is a lie, for the people continue to suffer in numbers that themselves are numbing and meaningless.”

~ Neil Gaiman (American Gods)


"Hope is the denial of reality. It is the carrot dangled before the daft horse to keep it plodding along in a vain attempt to reach it . . . No, Half-elf...do not speak to me of hope."

~ Raistlin Majere (Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman, Dragons of Autumn Twilight)


"So now your generation will know about war. I'm sorry."

~ Anon. (9.11.01)


"Often when the heart is torn with sorrow, spiritually we wander like a traveler lost in a deep wood. We grow frightened, lose all sense of direction, batter ourselves against trees and rocks in our attempt to find a path. All the while there is a path--a path of Faith--that leads straight out of the dense tangle of our difficulties into the open road we are seeking."

~ Helen Keller


"Possibly the only dismaying aspect of excellence is that it makes living in a world of mediocrity an on-going prospect of living hell."

~ Harlan Ellison (Introduction, Neil Gaiman's The Sandman: Season of Mists)


"In order to attain the impossible, one must attempt the absurd."

~ Miguel de Unamuno (Quoted by Harlan Ellison in his Introduction to Neil Gaiman's The Sandman: Season of Mists)


“Time is a great flowing river, vaster and wider than any river we know. Throw a pebble into the rushing water – does the water suddenly stop? Does it begin to flow backward? Does it turn in its course and flow another direction? Of course not! The pebble creates a few ripples on the surface, perhaps, but then it sinks. The river flows onward, as it has ever done.”

~ Par-Salian (Weis & Hickman, Time of the Twins)


"Be like a duck. Remain calm on the surface and paddle like hell underneath."

~ Michael Caine


"Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?" / "Who watches the watchmen?"

~ ? (As cited in Alan Moore's Watchmen )


"What if...this is as good as it gets?"

~ Jack Nicholson (as Melvin Udall in As Good As It Gets)


"I realized somebody oughtta make an alarm clock that sounds like a baby barfing. 'Cuz you know what? There IS no snoozin'. You could be sound asleep drooling, man, hear that [barfing noise] Get up! Get Up! GET UP! Aw, man, is it on me? Is it on me? You'd never be late for work again. 6am, hear that [barfing noise], ZING! You're outta that bed! You're standing at work in your underwear. 'Let's go to work, people, there's no vomit on me today!'"

~ Bill Engvall


"...you don't ever wanna mix spam with macaroni and cheese...I have done this. And I'm gonna tell you something...when the hot grease from that spam hits that powdered cheese in your stomach...oh, dear God...it caused an indigestion problem that makes a Taco Fart seem like a warm tropical breeze. You'll blow hair off a dog..."

~ Bill Engvall


"Damn! Alien invaders, super-villains, monsters, mutants, they all tried. But none of them could kill me. I fought them all and I won! I survived! Who would have thought that, in the end...it'd be my own body that would turn on me and do me in? But what are you carrying on so about, Mar-Vell? It's not as if you've been singled out for this. Everyone has to die someday. Or did you think you were unique? Yes, I guess that's what it's all about. I just never figured it would happen to me..."

~ Captain Mar-vell (The Death of Captain Marvel by Jim Starlin)


"The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?"

(Jeremiah 17:9)


"As water reflects a face, so a man's heart reflects the man."

(Proverbs 27:19)


"That's how far the world is from where I am. Just one bad day."

~ The Joker (Alan Moore, Batman: the Killing Joke)


"It's all a joke! Everything anybody ever valued or struggled for...it's all a monstrous, demented gag! So why can't you see the funny side? Why aren't you laughing?"

~ The Joker (Alan Moore, Batman: the Killing Joke)


"See, there were these two guys in a lunatic asylum...and one night, one night they decide they don't like living in an asylum any more. They decide they're going to escape! So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moonlight...Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend daredn't make the leap. Y'see...y'see, he's afraid of falling. So then, the first guy has an idea...he says 'Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings, you can walk along the beam and join me!' B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says...He says 'Wh-what do you think I am? CRAZY? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!'..."

~ The Joker (Alan Moore, Batman: the Killing Joke)


"You said you'd always be there for me!  But you're not...and it's because of me..."

~ Simba (Disney's The Lion King)


"So now your generation will know about war. I'm sorry."

~ Anon.


"Every challenge along the way / With courage I will face / I will battle every day / To claim my rightful place / Come with me, the time is right / There's no better team / Arm in arm we'll win the fight / That's always been our dream..."

~ Pokemon Theme Song


>>WHAPP! <<

"Ow! What'd you do that for?!?"

"It doesn't matter! It's in the past!"

"Yeah, but it still hurts."

~ Exchange between Simba and Rafiki (Disney's The Lion King)


"What I'm sayin', Steve...is that you gotta setle things with Ferrari! Speak your piece! Say your mind and take a shot at gettin' her back!"

"How? She bolted without giving me the chance!"

"She might say that you had a thousand chances..."

"...Kick in the groin is what it is."

~ Exchange between Sam Wilson and Steve Rogers (Captain America vol. 3, # 49)


"Why bother? She doesn't want me. She couldn't have been clearer."

~ Steve Rogers (Captain America vol. 3, # 49)


"Some people carry their shields so they don't get hurt. Others wrap 'em around their heart."

~ Sam Wilson (Captain America vol. 3, # 49)


"Often when the heart is torn with sorrow, spiritually we wander like a traveler lost in a deep wood. We grow frightened, lose all sense of direction, batter ourselves against trees and rocks in our attempt to find a path. All the while there is a path--a path of Faith--that leads straight out of the dense tangle of our difficulties into the open road we are seeking." ~ Helen Keller


"You have the air of a man ready to gut the next person who fucks with him, my friend.  Bad day?"

~ Rudi Gagarin (Fury  # 1)


"A stealth fighter is not invisible. A laser-guided bomb is still a bomb. We will lose aircraft and we will kill civilians If you don't believe me, look at that clusterfuck the Balkan operation in ninety-nine turned out to be. If this thing does go ballistic it'll come down to infantry work, just like always. Forget Desert Storm. No one gets that much free pussy twice in one lifetime. American troops will die. So will S.H.I.E.L.D. personnel. So will anyone else who sticks their head up."

~ Col. Nicholas Fury (Fury # 3)


"She's like, fully not into the fuzzy dude!"

~ Nightcrawler (X-Men: Evolution, Episode III - "Rogue Recruit")


"If God is truly just, then I tremble for the fate of my nation..."

~ Thomas Jefferson


"It's like falling in love with a kitten: one day, you'll have to put an old cat to sleep..."

~ Neil Gaiman (? ? ?)